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U.S. To China: No More Anal Swabs!

China Stickin’ It To The World!

US to China: Stop probing our asses!
C'mon, Man!

The U.S. has formally asked China to stop subjecting our country’s officials to anal swab tests for COVID-19.

No. We did not make that up.

Apparently, China has instituted anal swab tests for COVID-19, prompting international complaints of inconvenience and psychological trauma. On Monday, Japan became the latest to sound the alarm on these rectal examinations. It requested that Beijing stop with the butthole exams after complaints of “psychological distress.”

In case you need a visual, the Chinese Center for Disease Control requires travelers to take a sterile cotton swab, insert it about 2 inches into the anus, and then gently rotate it out.

There is no proof that anal swabbing is a better method of detecting COVID-19 than the already-invasive nasal swab. “It’s well established that the gold standard or best sample to take is something upper respiratory,” says  Omai Garner, PhD, an associate clinical professor, clinical microbiology section chief, and point of care testing director in the Department of Pathology and Lab Medicine at UCLA Health.

Vice reported last week about China’s fascination with American bungholes, prompting a formal response.

The State Department never agreed to this kind of testing and protested directly to [China’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs] when we learned that some staff were subject to it.”

U.S. State Department

The State Department said it remains committed to preserving the “dignity” of our nation’s diplomats, pursuant to international law.

China has denied that it required any American official to take anything up the butt.

Our Take…

If there was ever a metaphor for China’s position on international relations, is this ever it! And you thought wearing a mask was a burden!

If what Dr. Garner says is true, then we’ve got to think that this is some sort of Chinese power play. China is literally making anyone who travels there bend over for them.

Talk about an unreported story! Welcome again to the Biden years, where we cover Mariokart races more than some international issues.

Let’s get real: this is hilarious, but also scary. An ascending China, who according to reports is a willing partner with Biden, Inc., makes for an… ahem… uncomfortable foreign policy nightmare in the making.

What do you think?

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