Every so often in Buffoonology 101, we stumble upon a matchup that feels straight out of the ancient tales: the plucky underdog against the towering giant. This week, the role of David is played by Jessica Tarlov—Fox News’ liberal panelist caught up in a hot-take classic But, her opponent is no ordinary Goliath. It’s James Comey, the former FBI director and repeat offender in the world of buffoonery, who returns to the spotlight in full “Swifty” mode, reminding us why he remains a heavyweight contender.
While Tarlov steps onto the field with all the confidence of a fresh-faced pundit swinging a slingshot, she may have underestimated the buffoonish arsenal of Comey, whose long history of cringeworthy antics makes him a seasoned and formidable foe.
But first, let’s wrap up some old business.
Last Match-Up: Booker Ekes Out A Win
Earlier this month, you picked Cory Booker to be Buffoon of the Week for one of his trademark Hot Mess acts on the floor of the United States Senate. But it was closer than anyone could have predicted, as Rep. Eric Swalwell’s antics while on recess from Congress make a strong case to many. Booker’s win ended Ross’s three match win streak, giving Gene some breathing room going into this week.
Click here to re-live that match-up.
Ross’s Nominee: Jessica Tarlov’s “Ready, Tweet, Aim” Gaffe
Ross Galloway came out swinging with his pick with The Five’s Jessica Tarlov. This week, Tarlov committed one of the classic blunders of buffoonery: don’t open your mouth unless you’re really sure you’re right. Here, Tarlov spouted off about the “cruelty” of ICE agents arresting poor little baby illegal immigrants with no criminal record in response to a video of such a scene in Washington D.C.
Or, so she thought.
After criticizing a crackdown that resulted in the arrest of an illegal immigrant, Tarlov came to find out from a reply tweet from Trump administration official Stephen Miller that the individual in question had been charged with the aggravated sexual assault of a minor.
Eww.
After the sheer embarrassment subsided, Tarlov took the virtual walk of shame—the good ol’ tweet and delete, which not only magnified her blunder but also placed her squarely in the crosshairs of critics who saw her as embodying the worst clichés of out-of-touch punditry.
Yet, despite so much evidence of buffoonery, Gene was less than impressed when he offered his “mid” scores for Tarlov on our Sharpton Buffoonery Matrix™ which is the visual representation of a nominee’s Buffoonish Nature (BuN) to his/her Buffoonish Action Magnitude (BAM.)
- BuN: 57 (D-Lister Lost in the Noise?)
- BAM: 1.20 GigaSharptons™ (Ooooh, so close)
Gene’s Nominee: Comey + Tay-Tay BFF 4Ever
Gene Berardelli countered Tarlov with a far more seasoned nominee: James Comey. The former FBI director, once considered a pillar of institutional credibility, resurfaced on his Substack (oh how the mighty have fallen!) with a jaw-dropping video professing his admiration for none other than Taylor Swift.
Hot off the heels of Swift’s appearance on her fiance’s podcast, Comey gushed about attending Swift’s concerts, being part of a “Swifty family group chat,” and even mowing the lawn with her songs in his headphones. He presented Swift as his coping mechanism for Donald Trump, quoting her lyrics and holding her up as a guiding light for political resistance.
And he delivered his ode to Taylor in the driest possible manner. All that was missing was the hoodie, the backward cap, and the skateboard and you’d swear Comey was channeling Steve Buscemi.
If secondhand embarrassment could be bottled, this video would be the top-seller. A man who once wielded immense power in Washington now seeks cultural relevancy by clinging to a pop star’s glittery coattails. In terms of buffoonish magnitude, this might have been Comey at his most icky—a titan of past scandals reduced to teeny-bopper fanboy. “While Tarlov fumbled in the rookie leagues with a single tweet, Comey showed us what happens when a seasoned buffoon takes the field with years of embarrassing experience to draw from.
- BuN: 82 (Still a Formidable Buffoon)
- BAM: 10.0 GigaSharptons™ (Just… why?)
Who Deserves Your Vote?
So here we are: Jessica Tarlov, the overconfident upstart who stumbled into a predictable blunder, versus James Comey, the elder statesman of buffoonery who can’t stop humiliating himself in pursuit of a waning spotlight.
Is this the week that Tarlov shocks the world and fells the giant? Or will Comey once again prove that experience (and absurdity) matter in the arena of political foolishness?
The choice is yours. Watch the full episode of Buffoonology 101, then cast your vote right here in our poll, or on Youtube, X, or on Gettr. You can also leave a comment on any of our socials.
🗳 Vote early, vote often—all the cool kids are doing it.
