This week’s Buffoonoology 101 features a Big Apple brawl between two of the Empire State’s most notorious political figures: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC) and former Governor Andrew Cuomo.
The “People’s Republic of New York City” told the nation to “hold my beer” in more ways than one when it comes to Sharpton-esque displays of political buffoonery this week!
Welcome back to Buffoonology 101, where the political absurdity is hot, the debates are hotter. For those who may be visiting us for the first time, this is the place to be when you want to point and laugh at the dumbest newsmakers each week. ou can learn more on our dedicated Buffoonology 101 page here.
Neither are strangers to controversy—or to our Sharpton Buffoonery Matrix™—and this week, they’re squaring off for the dubious distinction of being crowned the biggest political punchline.
But first, let’s finish up last week’s titanic clash!
Last Week’s Blowout: Ilhan Omar Trounces Ted Cruz
There is no easy way to say it: Ilhan Omar absolutely crushed Ted Cruz, taking home 80% of the vote and securing Gene’s third straight win over Ross. With over 120 votes tallied and thousands of views across platforms, it’s clear that the audience isn’t shy about picking their preferred political clown.
With a winning streak on the line, Gene’s confidence is through the roof. But Ross is hoping that a well-prepped presentation and a high-profile nominee can turn the tide.
Ross’s Nominee: AOC’s Street Cred Collapse and Iran Outburst
Ross came out swinging hard this week with AOC as his nominee. The Bronx-Queens congresswoman found herself in delicious buffoonery after posting a confrontational tweet toward Donald Trump claiming her “Bronx girl” toughness would eat up the Queens-born president.
There’s only one problem with AOC’s bravado: she is not now, nor has she ever been a “Bronx girl.”
NYS Assemblyman Matt Slater exposed AOC for the liar that she is, posting a yearbook photo showing that AOC (aka “Sandy Cortez”) actually grew up in lily-white Westchester County in the ritzy area of Yorktown Heights!
Narative: blown! That’s far – literally and figuratively – from the mean streets of the Bronx!
But that wasn’t all. AOC also called for the impeachment of the President while U.S. military forces were actively engaged in operations over Iranian airspace. That timing didn’t just raise eyebrows—it raised questions about recklessness and responsibility from a sitting member of Congress.
The combination of political image-shattering and foreign policy blundering earned AOC a top-tier spot on the Sharpton Buffoonery Matrix™ which is our visual representation relating a nominee’s Buffoonish Nature (BuN) to his/her Buffoonish Action Magnitude (BAM.)
- BuN: 81 (The embodiment of “Squad” goals)
- BAM: 10.85 Giga-Sharptons™ (AOC’s 1-2 punch of buffoonery adds up to a high score!)
Gene’s Nominee: Andrew Cuomo’s Epic Campaign Collapse
Gene answered back with a New York legend in the annals of buffoonery: Andrew Cuomo. The disgraced ex-governor and former COVID press conference heartthrob managed to blow a 30+-point lead in the NYC Democratic mayoral primary, losing to Assemblyman Zohran Mamdani.
All could see this car crash coming throughout the campaign. Thanks to incompetence and mismanagement in filing campaign documents, Cuomo failed to qualify for the opening rounds of city matching campaign funds. Later, the NYC Campaign Finance Board penalized Cuomo for opening colluding with a super PAC, costing him further needed funds for his GOTV operation. And last, but not least, Cuomo and his team adopted a ghost campaign as he tried to coast to victory—and faceplanted instead.
We can’t think of anytime in modern political history where a candidate squandered so much in a given race; from name recognition, to media familiarity and familial legacy, Cuomo flushed it all down the toilet. Again.
His downfall demands further study.
All this, and we haven’t even gotten to Cuomo’s long history of scandals (nursing homes, MeToo, ethics commission shutdowns—you know the hits.) Hopefully, this latest flameout might finally close the book on one of the most frustratingly resilient and odious buffoons in New York politics.
But then again, the word is he’s staying in this race as an independent!
- BuN: 83 *** NEW RECORD! *** (A radioactive and irredeemable buffoon)
- BAM: 110 Giga-Sharptons™ (one of the biggest epic fails from the king of epic fails)
So… AOC or Cuomo? Vote Now and Follow the Foolery
It’s now up to you to tell us who deserves the crown this week—AOC and political narcissism and reckless rhetoric, or Andrew Cuomo and his continuing spiral into political irrelevance?
👉 Cast your vote in our poll on in the comments below
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Don’t forget: Vote early, vote often. No voter ID required! They don’t take election integrity seriously, so why should we!
