Welcome back to Buffoonology 101, the only class where the curriculum is built on political absurdity, and your vote determines who wears the crown of shame. This week, we’ve got two perennial buffoons trying desperately to out-cringe the other on a national stage.
Will it be the gym-flexing virtue signaler from California or the Senate’s drama king from New Jersey? You decide.
But before we tackle these stupendous dummies, let’s recap last week’s vote.
Last Week’s Blowout: Hunter Biden vs. George Santos
Last week, Ross Galloway extended his winning streak by nominating Hunter Biden, who delivered a profanity-laced interview that left voters stunned. Gene Berardelli’s pick, George Santos, just couldn’t compete in the face of such monumental buffoonery—even though he was headed to prison. With over 75% of the vote, Hunter walked away with the title, and Ross inched closer to tying Gene in the overall standings.
For more of what Buffoonology 101 is all about, check out our hub here on the website.
Ross’s Nominee: That Gym Bro, Eric Swalwell
Ross is gunning for four straight wins, and his latest nominee is Rep. Eric Swalwell. What did Swalwell do to earn the dishonor? He took to social media during the House recess to post videos of himself lifting weights in a gym and lounging in a pool.
Swalwell shared the videos in response to congressional leaders letting Congress take their August recess early. He seemingly accused House leadership of cutting Congress loose to avoid addressing the growing demand for the release of the Jeffrey Epstein files – files which Swalwell didn’t say boo about until rumors swirled of President Trump’s alleged connection to those files.
Swalwell intended to “own” the opposition. But several outlets highlighted that the reaction Swalwell’s summer vacay vlog was “cringe.”
It’s peak political performance art—tone-deaf, self-serving, and unintentionally hilarious.
Bonus cringe: challenging 60-year-old Greg Gutfeld to a bench press contest. Seriously? Who does that?
Certainly, Swalwell earned a spot on our Sharpton Buffoonery Matrix™ which is our visual representation relating a nominee’s Buffoonish Nature (BuN) to his/her Buffoonish Action Magnitude (BAM.)
- BuN: 69 (Hey Fang Fang: you up?)
- BAM: 1.21 GigaSharptons™ (Fighting from justice from his private in-ground pool is so Swalwell)
Gene’s Nominee: Cory Booker, The Senate’s Theatrical Buffoon
Not to be outdone, Gene nominates Sen. Cory Booker for unleashing an over-the-top floor speech that was part Broadway audition, part campaign stump, and entirely exhausting.From invoking ancestors and conspiracies about “secret police” to accusing his fellow Democrats of spinelessness,
Booker went full Spartacus again— just like he did during that infamous moment during the Kavanaugh confirmation hearing. This time, without saying it this time.
Even MS-DNC wasn’t fooled by Booker’s tantrum:
After Democratic Sen. Catherine Cortez Masto of New Mexico attempted to pass the bills through unanimous consent, Booker blocked the motion and accused his Democratic colleagues of being “complicit” in Trump’s agenda.
Booker tried to amend the package and argued it would reward law enforcement in states favored by the administration. Sen. Amy Klobuchar of Minnesota shot back at Booker, telling the New Jersey Democrat that he should have objected when the bill was passed unanimously out of committee.
Gene argues that Booker is an emotional provocateur and a drama queen – and that this latest episode is exactly the kind of behavior that makes Booker a textbook “Hot Mess” from his field guide Schnooks, Crooks, Liars & Scoundrels.
- BuN: 73 (He’s THE Hot Mess)
- BAM: 3.00 GigaSharptons™ (Race cards and theatrics are VERY Sharpton-esque)
Time to Vote: Swalwell or Booker – WHO YA GOT!
So, who earned your cringe vote this week—Swalwell, the gym bro congressman with the tone-deaf videos, or Booker, the Senate’s king of performative outrage?
Watch the full episode of Buffoonology 101, then cast your vote right here in our poll, or on Youtube, X, or on Gettr. You can also leave a comment on any of our socials.
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