Buffoonology 101: Hack Tapper is Up Against Icky Diddy

Welcome back, students of Buffoonology 101. Class is officially in session!

This week, the hosts pushed our little social experiment to its breaking point, nominating two very controversial figures: CNN’s Jake Tapper and embattled music mogul Sean “Diddy” Combs.

Ross Wins Two-in-a-Row in Record-Breaking Fashion

Before diving into this week’s matchup, let’s give credit where it’s dubiously due. Last week’s Buffoon of the Week is none other than Michelle Obama, giving co-host Ross Galloway his second straight win—bringing the scoreboard to Berardelli 3, Galloway 2. It was a tight race early on, but Michelle ran away with 66.3% of the vote. And she did so while setting new records for voter participation!

Whether you loved or hated the pick, the people spoke louder than ever, shattering records—including our first-ever triple-digit turnout for Buffoon of the Week (113 votes) and record-breaking viewership across platforms (3,300+ views).

So if you’ve ever thought “my vote doesn’t count”—here, it does. Loudly. And virally. Spread the word and bring your friends.

But for those of you who are new to this, here’s how it works: Each host gives a short presentation explaining why his nominee deserves your vote. Then, the other host scores the nominee on our Sharpton Buffoonery Matrix™ which measures a nominee’s:

Buffoonish Nature (BuN) — how inherently absurd they are
Buffoonish Action Magnitude (BAM) — how bad their behavior was in this instance week

For more on the rules, check out our Buffoonology 101 hub.

Ross’s Nominee: Diddy, Puff Daddy, P. Diddy, Sean Combs—Whatever You Call Him

Ross came out swinging with the most controversial nomination to date: Sean “Diddy” Combs, citing his alleged criminal activity and long-standing political grandstanding. But, accordingly to Ross, Diddy’s court scandal adds fuel to his controversial political legacy. He’s accused of everything from sex trafficking to assault, and recent court testimony has been so graphic that we dare not repeat it here out of sheer disgust. While nothing new surfaced this week, Diddy was in court, silently watching the prosecution build its case.

Ross tied the nomination into political buffoonery by resurfacing a 2020 clip where Diddy sat down with Charlamagne tha God to discuss his support for Joe Biden and his initiative to form a “Black” political party.

Ross argued that once you step into the political arena, your receipts stay on file—and your buffoonery remains relevant.

In response, Gene was fuming. We’d say triggered, even! He thundered that no new Diddy accusations surfaced this week. “He’s just sitting in court!” Gene insisted. “That’s it!”

Still, once the performative outrage passed, Gene cooled down enough to apply the Sharpton Buffoonery Matrix™:

BuN (Buffoonish Nature): 79 (A radioactive culture warrior who’s definitely loathsome)
BAM (Buffoonish Action Magnitude): 0 Sharptons™ (No new politics. No new buffoonery. No score.)

Gene’s Nominee: Tapper, Tapper, Tapper

And now for what Gene called the real political buffoon of the week—CNN’s Jake Tapper.

Jake Tapper’s Biden cover-up makes headlines—and hypocrisy.
What did Tapper do to earn his Sharptons? Simple. After four years gaslighting America, dismissing concerns about President Biden’s cognitive decline, Tapper released a book co-authored with Axio’s Alex Thompson that detailed how the White House actively covered up Biden’s mental deterioration all the way through Election Day 2024.

But it’s worse than that.

Tapper and his ilk didn’t just carry water for Biden—they tried to make you feel bad for noticing the truth. They labeled genuine concern as conspiracy, and legitimate critique as cruelty.

That’s not journalism. That’s buffoonish gaslighting, wrapped in performative compassion.

Even Ross had to give credit where it was due. Tapper was a doozy:

BuN (Buffoonish Nature): 72 (A CNN hack profiting off the very story he helped bury)
BAM (Buffoonish Action Magnitude): 11.00 Giga-Sharptons™ (Getting caught with his hand in the cookie jar of hypocrisy, big time!)

And by the way, if you got that Simpsons reference—you’re cool people